I see you standing at a distance and wonder how you smell...
I get closer and wonder how you feel...
I touch you and experience something beyond words can describe...
The tingling feeling that leave small goose flesh all over my skin..
I gain your trust and I mistrust in return...
I want you more than ever and decide that the union is something that sounds fabulous, I could not wait...
Little cupid was aiming well and succeeded in every shot he aimed...Love was in the air...
And then entered familiarity, the breeding season for contempt...
The union was made and seals were broken...
I was satisfied but wondered how many promises would be broken...
You stood there waiting for the big day and all I could offer was dismay...
I did not feel any pain but the tears in your eyes seemed so real that my lips quivered...
I did not love you anymore, my thirst for you was quenched and I had you enough...
You kept crying and I left the place to continue my preying...
Monday, February 8, 2010
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Dreams end and reality begins...
There were times in life when I would have preferred the earth suck me in but this time it was exactly the opposite...
This time I wanted the world to get sucked in without me. For the first time in life I saw things clearly and not under the effect of my rose tinted glasses. Love was not real and the truth was that life was the only thing that is eternal. Some may contradict me while I put Life above the Almighty. Yes. Almighty is also available but not as much as Life is. Do we believe in what we see or do we believe in the mystical? A question unanswered.
I remember praying to The Almighty almost everyday of my life to give me strength to love others more than myself. In the process I woke up one fine morning realising that my entire life was wasted and that the only thing left was life and myself. Loved ones cheat, lie and back stab but there were some people who leave a soul print in your life, those were the ones that helped build life. They were the ones that lead you on, I later learned. Whether their existence continued or not, the only thing that mattered was what they left behind.
I penned down all the people in my life who I remembered and filtered it down to all the people who mattered. Friends, boy friends, teachers, family, neighbours and acquaintances. Everyone seemed to have taught me some important lesson in life. I seived it down further and found out the list of people I must apologise to and realised that I had the whole list staring right into my face. Why? Because I was blankly staring into reality.
Some people who I fought with needed an apology, some people I had forgotten needed attention , some people I had misunderstood needed understanding, some people who threw me out of their lives needed an ego boost and most of all, some people I never cared to know, needed time. I was a failure in just 22 yrs of my life. I cried all morning and realised that my tears would not matter in the salty sea filled with my actions. That day I divorced The Almighty who had never shown up.
I was living reality and I felt the urge to abuse him but knew that,for my sins I would never get access to him. Hence I started living my life instead of praying to him to help me live life. Told a few people how much they meant to me and realised the others had already gone too far. The Almighty of my life had always taken the form of "Love" and today I did not have that form in my life and hence I woke up....
This time I wanted the world to get sucked in without me. For the first time in life I saw things clearly and not under the effect of my rose tinted glasses. Love was not real and the truth was that life was the only thing that is eternal. Some may contradict me while I put Life above the Almighty. Yes. Almighty is also available but not as much as Life is. Do we believe in what we see or do we believe in the mystical? A question unanswered.
I remember praying to The Almighty almost everyday of my life to give me strength to love others more than myself. In the process I woke up one fine morning realising that my entire life was wasted and that the only thing left was life and myself. Loved ones cheat, lie and back stab but there were some people who leave a soul print in your life, those were the ones that helped build life. They were the ones that lead you on, I later learned. Whether their existence continued or not, the only thing that mattered was what they left behind.
I penned down all the people in my life who I remembered and filtered it down to all the people who mattered. Friends, boy friends, teachers, family, neighbours and acquaintances. Everyone seemed to have taught me some important lesson in life. I seived it down further and found out the list of people I must apologise to and realised that I had the whole list staring right into my face. Why? Because I was blankly staring into reality.
Some people who I fought with needed an apology, some people I had forgotten needed attention , some people I had misunderstood needed understanding, some people who threw me out of their lives needed an ego boost and most of all, some people I never cared to know, needed time. I was a failure in just 22 yrs of my life. I cried all morning and realised that my tears would not matter in the salty sea filled with my actions. That day I divorced The Almighty who had never shown up.
I was living reality and I felt the urge to abuse him but knew that,for my sins I would never get access to him. Hence I started living my life instead of praying to him to help me live life. Told a few people how much they meant to me and realised the others had already gone too far. The Almighty of my life had always taken the form of "Love" and today I did not have that form in my life and hence I woke up....
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