My SOP: My Sob Story

Were people who thought of a masters after a bachelors degree insane? Or was each applicant just a marketing & sales person?

The requisite of a Statement Of Purpose made me think they were.I chose to believe that every application went with a two page story that the applicant wanted the board to believe. The day I picked up my checklist to see how far I was with my application process, was when it struck me hard. It was missing an SOP.

What the fish was an SOP? An essay that elaborated an objective merged with an essay about life. I realised then that I was not a Marketing & Sales person after all. Though by profession I was, I chose not to sell myself. When my company launched products, it was easy to sell because I was never affected directly by comments that people passed on it. But when I tried to sell myself into a two page word document, I felt lost for words.

I knew I was good at what I did and I knew that nobody who knew me as a person would have second thoughts about giving me an admit card, but the problem was to let them know in 2d paper! I could not boast and I could not lie. Why couldn't I just say that "I don't know what I don't know and I would love to know stuff"? NO! They would never accept it....for only those who have been enlightened are worthy of more education and those who have not the spark can rot in the well! :)

I struggled all night to put a piece together. A humble copy that underwent many many iterations...by friends, family and colleagues. After insults, suggestion, criticism and plain snubs,what came out was not me! I knew it and I am sure the board would know too. If the board knew that not even one SOP was worth being called a "Definition Of the Person", why do they insist?

When I become somebody with some power I will make sure the education system is fair. Students will not be judged based on SOP's...they will be judged by what they are and what they want to know. But that is later....I still have to submit mine! A mixture of my sob story and my inspirations. Hate it!

Death: Two Much

It is the third death anniversary of a lady I love still. A woman whose house I literally grew up in. My neighbour. Chella Rajendran. When I was 3years old I used to go to her house to get curd and drink it all up by the time I reached the last step leading to my house. Her daughter, Rajila(12years older than I was) was my only friend till I met Fazeela in 11th standard. I was Chella Auntys second daughter over the 15 years I knew her.

I shifted my house and things changed. We met so rarely and I had moved on to a new life. The two years in my new house were so eventful that I overlooked the fact that she had cancer. The next time I saw her was on Dec 16th, 2007. In an ice box. My heart bled so much that I kept wailing. Even more than her own daughter. My heart still bleeds thinking that I wasted 2 years of my life caught in my own web. But no point crying over spilled milk.

Today I heard about another death. A death that affected me in two ways. One because of my (girl)friend, who was crying uncontrollably for her lost moral support. Two because of my (boy)friend who was dying to come back to India from the UK for his lost role model. I was lost! I wanted to be in two places NOW.

Both of them were filled with so much negativity that scared me from the inside. Thoughts like "What if I die?", "What if something happens to my parents?" and "Is all this fame , money worth it?". I was going mad. How was I to explain to someone that only the body dies...there is still the soul that stays on and LIVES. Something that is felt. I can still feel the presence of all the people who have left my life...irrespective of if they are alive.

Basically, I hate December 16th.

B R E A K S

Everybody around me tells me how important breaks are. I know breaks between movies and I know breaks between lectures, but breaks in relationships are the most ridiculous things ever! I accept that when something gets too boring, breaks are necessary. But why bring time spaces between something that is completely at its best?

This beats me!

Reasons for a break:
1. The relationship is too boring and seems never ending. Breaks are a good way to break up I guess! :P
2. The relationship is at such a high that thinking space is necessary to go further. Good way to stick ones head on to their shoulders!

Whatever the reason maybe to take a break, the biggest challenge begins when the rule of "No communication" is put on it. No texts, no mails, no calls....NO NOTHING!!! This is why I personally hate breaks.

You get used to something and BANG! everything changes. You pick up the phone each time it beeps hoping its the other person or just keep staring into infinite spaces in front of you hoping that suddenly you wake up and find out you just dozed off and it was a dream. But nope! it is hard biting reality alright.

When the break is too short, the time spent on getting used to the sudden absence of the person by itself consumes most of the "Think/Reflect on the relationship" time. Worst thing that can happen is when the break is a LITTLE too long and you get used to not being with the other person. OOSOOM theory!

Moral of the story: Check the length of the break to find out what the outcome is! :P If the person is interested in you, the break is short...else I'd suggest that you get a bucket of ice cream and start sulking over a lost relationship!

Phantoms Of The Night:

One bright day was filled with all the love in the world...
The warmth of hugs and the sensation of kisses...
Everything had to end before it got too late...
The phantoms would rise from the dead of the night...
Our paths were entwined and thats how we met...
Same place, same time and same situations has befallen us...
But we had to part else it would be a mess...
A mess we could not sort even if we stood up and fought...
Fate played lady luck and our paths converged...
Same place, same time and same situations again...
But this time it was be dark and the night had fallen...
Happiness lay in each other but the night called us in..
Into the bottomless pit where it had nothing but grim...
Love had its way but this was not it...
Everything was perfect but yet nothing was right...
None of us had the strength enough to fight...
Slowly we gave up and let the phantoms gobble us up...
Little did we know that the phantoms had our bodies but could not get to our souls...
The souls had made it back to the happy days...
Maybe it flew towards another parallel world's way...
Where love could reunite and nothing else was said...
Where kisses were a million and the vows were made...
The souls remain married but the bodies still bled..
The phantoms had them somewhere from where no one fled...
The bodies would die and be born again...
This time into a world where they had nothing else but to gain....
From each others love in their little cove....
Fate had kept her promise and so did they...
A love never forgotten will surely reunite...
This is my story of phantoms and love....
Be it night or day...
Be strong anyway!!!