Theory of Rebound:

The only truth behind a rebound is that nothing is real. It is like the rickety bridge that serves as the only path from Broken Heart Land to Firm Ground Land. People with broken hearts or breaking relationships turn to the first person they find interesting or to the first person who shares a similar story of life. Obviously the attraction is so high that something has to be done real fast about it.

I am going to call the one with the broken relationship, a reboundee and the one in the rebound trap, the rebounded. Everything that the rebounded says seems perfectly right and every theory of theirs seems like the truth of the universe. The places they love are suddenly the only places on the map of the world, the food that they like is the only palatable food right now and suddenly the ex becomes the bad one.

The alarm bells have to start ringing when everything the ex did not do is right in front and is offered on a silver platter. Money becomes a cheap commodity and meeting the rebounded seems like the only priority ever. The world sees the reboundee as the broken one who can’t focus on work but in reality they are just too occupied with the new development in their love life.

Rose tinted glasses are exactly what the reboundee wears to see through this phase. Long chats, longer phone calls and the longest nights in life are characteristic of a rebound relationship. Plans for the future and the thought of meeting the parents seem less perturbing. It is almost suicidal to do any of those two things because those are the things that cement relationships. Naming kids, deciding marriage venues and making out like animals are all legally allowed elements of rebounds, but making love is not…especially if it’s the first time for either one of the two or both.

A typical rebound lasts around 3-6 months on an average unless the chemistry is just so fantastic that the dead love matters no more. At the end of the rebound relationship the rebounded feels used, cheap and wronged, while the reboundee is down trodden destroyed because of lack of confidence in relationships and guilt for losing track of the values and principles that were very well defined before the rebound.

On the brighter side, there is no moving on without this bad rebound phase! It is always better to rebound and get done with the sulking phase than linger in limbo and not let love take its course.

Knocking doors:

Somebody from my past walked back right into my life. I knocked his doors. No ego, no fear, no venom spewed in the first conversation that we had, though it has been 3.5 years since we even exchanged salutations! It ended years back because of someone who was very very important to me then. Life is weird. I regret some choices that I have made in the past!

I never realized that I had options around me. Options that I eliminated on practical grounds. How far has my self proclaimed practicality brought me? Nowhere! I am just a wounded, crippled and quietened soul. I let people trample all over me in the name of love and I let them choose my life for me. Today I know how wrong I was! I should have let love take it own course, irrespective of religion, age and practicality.

What was in front of me then I looked away from and today what I look up to has turned its back on me. I am still trying to pick up my pieces and make my life what I always wanted it to be. In the process I am also making myself who I always wanted to be.

The beautiful conversation that I had now left me speechless. Somethings just don't change. We picked up from where we had left it years back. A refreshing feeling indeed!! I am knocking doors around me,frantically trying to find things that comfort me...eternal peace is all want! Why is it so difficult? Bubbles keep breaking all around me. Are my dreams so unreal or is this the "destiny" I once befriended? Is this why people drink, smoke or smoke up? Do I want to know the answer?!!!

Bye Bye Love!

It's easiest to say That I need to find another way.. You told me you knew which side I would look You don't know me. I am no book! I hid all my emotions deep down in me Called it some reservations I kept for the other me Nothing it was! Just some insecurities Hid it pretty well and claimed it as one of my capabilities Sorry for everything I know "Sorry" means nothing You saw me trample over you But this was not something new I'd done it before "I'll never do it" I swore This time I pushed you far Trust me it left a scar I saw you in the future With a smile and no suture I trigger nothing good All you want to see is blood I break you down to shreds In the process,women you will dread I saw you in a happy place With satisfaction on your face Please tell me I saw it right And that's why I didn't put a fight I pushed you outside my life While in my head I was still almost your wife I pushed you closer to the other choice Crushing all the love in my voice I told you it made no difference You know that was utter nonsense I know you will find it Peace, at least a little bit Sorry I was a coward I just could not push this forward I love you with all I have I'll love you on everyday I have I'll love you as long as a heart I have My life is so funny Your life is so sunny You carry on thinking I was a bitch Honestly, I'm in the ditch All I see is darkness My Brain is a complete mess Why did you trust me? You'd understand if you knew me I'm still the blushy girl you met Except that I set you free from my net! I'll love you forever and that is set!

Demystifying "UNCONDITIONALISM" :

Unconditional love is a very simple concept that we most often convolute in our heads to defend ourselves from our biggest fears - to be exposed and vulnerable. I decided today that I will mend all broken relationships, apologize to everybody I hurt and love unconditionally. This is only a little different from the past - it is egoless. The EGO is warrior in our soul, it fights when it senses destruction and at times when it senses no threat, it fears that the other person is conspiring and lurking in the dark to attack and starts the battle. There is no battle today and there will be no battle tomorrow if there are no expectations. I promised myself that I will accept with expecting and in the last two days I feel no pain, no fear, no apprehensions and no doubts. This is the life I always wanted.

I feel only love and nothing negative. I know the least that I can expect in any relationship and I expect nothing more. Be it parents, who will care for me or friends who will immortalize me by make lasting memories with me or a husband who can love me or a sibling who can worry for me when I communicate pain, I know what I will get and I expect no more. Any additional attribute or emotion that each one of these relationships bring will bring an additional smile on my lips. I know there is so much love in the world - to give and to take. I promised myself that I will love without thinking about hurt and circumstances. Why worry about today and deprive myself and others of the love we deserve? I have a chance to make a difference and I will be the difference.

Familiar Endings:

How long can one continue hurting people after knowing how much damage they cause every time? I have no answers but this question popped up into my life after seeing a lot of people near and dear suffer in my love. What kind of love punishes the other person? Is this any love at all? Parents, friends and the closest of people have all suffered the same fate. Why? Is it the continuous reminder of being a failure from people who never loved me or is it the inability to believe in true happiness? Empty canvas I said, but was I willing to accept life as it came? Was I willing to fight to make the things I love happen?

The answer is simple. No! I thought I was stronger now but I just realised how weak I have become in the search for myself. I never worried about who I was, what I wanted from life...but this time I wanted answers and that make me absorb opinions about me. If I were the old me, I would have smirked and walked off but now when the quest for myself continues, every insult, every person who has ever known me matters to me. What people have understood or known about me matters! And all I hear is negativity. There was one person amidst all this who wanted me to be brave and positive about myself, but I failed to keep even that person close!

I got caught in my own web of self-accusations that what that person kept spelling out to me did not matter anymore. I was supposed to give my all to at least that relationship but I didn't. Friends come, some stay and some go away but this one continued to hang on no matter what happened in my head and in my life. Society hurled insults, family pointed fingers but I stood through it all. I was just unable to stand through my own insecurities. Is it so difficult to trust some one with all one has got? Do I owe it to my past or do I owe it to all my fears of my future that I am unable to completely trust even the most trustworthy and honest of people?

Is it sane to be so scared of losing something that pushing it away farther and farther everyday is the first solution that comes to my mind? People cling on to what they love, I just push it away sooner. Who taught me to love like this? When I work so hard to take 10 steps to open up, the moment I realise that I am getting too attached and can end up becoming too emotionally dependent, I take 100 steps back. Do I really like being in pain? No! I think the pain caused by myself is less than the pain that might be caused when the person walks out later. I have never been anywhere where I have been happier and more secure when compared to where I am today...and yet I ruin it all. Yet I have ruined it all. There is no turning back now! Life will go on....and so will the pain!

New Beginnings:

How many times does life actually give people an opportunity to start afresh? I got my second chance! Today I feel tonnes lighter. The weight of responsibilities and commitments are all off my chest. This time I am walking right into the doors of fate. Leaving this place (though for a short while) already sends a gust of fresh air into my lungs. Destiny is my only friend. He brought me to where I am and now I am blindly walking into his territory.


The joy that an artist gets when an empty canvas is laid down in front of him is exactly what I feel now! This is my life, my masterpiece and I have all the rights to put in all the elements I always thought I wanted to have. Love, friendships, ties and myself! I'm walking around with my palette filled with the colours of past learnings. This time I know I'm throwing away nothing that I have picked up from the past.



The excitement that a hitchhiker get when he finds that his journey is going to be way better with a companion made while treading rough terrains. What more? Forge new friendships, build new relationships and find love again. Unknown lands, unknown faces and unknown emotions...all waiting to be unleashed. I know I will look into my companions eyes and believe that the journey to the future is a journey worthwhile!



I feel like so many different things right now that I feel insane in happiness. I prayed hard to god above, for a second chance in life...not only to rectify my mistakes but also to relive the entire thing! So much to hope for and so much to fight for, but I am not going to lose faith in myself nor destiny. I will be all the things I always wanted to, one by one but I would have done it all. Being the apprehensive artist who is waiting to paint on his fresh page or a traveller who yearns for new unexplored territories and unspoken emotions.