Why is the human mind built in a way that to push a person out of their mind, the umbrella of hate is sheltered under? Some people spread bitterness and some accept defeat. I am the one who accepts bitterness as though it has always been my forte. My parents shed a few tears and suddenly the girl who spent her entire lifetime cover up for her shit has become the bad one? I don’t understand how the mind functions. I am in the search of finding how people react to various situations in life. The amount of tears I have shed through a love relationship goes unnumbered, but the tears shed by others become invaluable?
How can people who call themselves ‘friends’ be so biased against their own friends? I have always asked so many questions, but the answers come so much later in life that the discovery/epiphany hardly matters. Today the ‘friend’ continues talking about my broken engagement thousands of miles away from me, why? I presume that talking about me was a decent enough conversation starter. Whether I am good or bad does not matter now – I must rejoice that I am an interesting piece of flesh.
The most important questions in a friendship at three different stages are “How is the person with other people?” which is a question that rules pre-friendship stages, “What does the person do for you?” which is asked when the person is your friend and is in close proximity and “What does the person say behind your back about you when far away?” which is the ultimate test of friendship.
I am a person who believes that a person cannot question the moral liability of another person – be it if the person decides to end an engagement or walk out of a marriage. What I would do in a situation like this is to weigh out the pros and cons of the various cases and let the final call be a conscious decision of the respective person. My personal life has become a joke to everybody – some people think I gave it up for another man and some people think I became overly ambitious overnight – but at the end of the day, the word spreads.
Higher beings say that one must not care two hoots about the society and that is the way of life and spiritual freedom, but what can be done if the social reputation builds a firmer ground for tomorrow’s bread and butter? In my case, I was going to stay with a friend of mine in NYC, before he broke to me that he was upset that I misrepresented something he had said about the ‘friend’ under speculation.
The truth about my story is that I introduced the NYC friend to my ‘friend’ because they had a lot of things common – this is not the worst part of the story. Today, I felt like nothing less than one of those prostitutes on the leery streets of New York City. My friend, for half a decade, told me that he did not want me to stay over at his place even if it was a for a few days because he was scared of the ripples of rumors that would travel through many ears in his friends circle. Though uncontrollable tears rolled down my cheeks, I realized that I was happier to ‘unfriend’ such negative factors in my life from thousands of miles away, rather than get closer in proximity and pull the plug eventually. What a learning experience, and in the process what a revelation – I am the new era Gandhian.
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