Love, money and sex:

I think sex, money, and love share an extremely dangerous relationship.

A thought that occurred to me today, after many days of trying to demystify the concept of love, was if it was possible to fall in love with someone just because of money and sex. And the answer was YES!

If I surveyed other woman in the world, most of them would agree with me. Not because they were loose, but, because the three were interwoven firmly by an invisible thread. The thread that sometimes made a woman’s --occasionally active-- over rational brain –falsely-- believe that she was immoral!  

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Let us consider a situation.

I went on a date with a guy I am attracted to and, voila, he treated me like a princess. He opened every door for me, took to me for a romantic dinner at a garden restaurant, helped me order the food and the wine, kept me on the hook with an engaging conversation, took me to a pub that played my favorite music, held me close all night, danced with me and, at the end of the eight hour long date, kissed me. He also said that it was the best date in a while, and promised many more. He did not treat me like an object.

He texted me until sunrise and asked me if I wanted to go ice-skating with him. Of course I said yes. He took me out to a restaurant with my favorite cuisine, then for ice-skating, held my hand and tried to teach me to skate, kissed me in front of all the young children in the rink, prevented me from falling face down on the ice, and paid for everything! After the short-lived adrenaline high, he invited me home for tea. And why wouldn't I go?

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Rationale: Money = Opportunities to make women feel special

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The next experience on the agenda was obviously the sex, and it was fantastic.

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Rationale: Making a woman special = Big turn on for women
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He was everything a woman could have ever asked for. The sex was almost always about me – unselfish and unconditional. What the hell, maybe he did not even cringe about my unshaven legs! We kissed for hours and hours before having sex. Though I would have loved to substitute “had sex” for the term “made love,” I didn’t have to say that, this time, for me to believe I was not “sleeping around.” What could be better? We cuddled and cuddled, till undone assignments flashed in front of both our brains. And this was my third date.

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Rationale: Sex = Opportunities to make women feel loved
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Parallel thoughts: I always knew how it worked in the West. Men and women lived through multiple iterations of the above and then experienced what they called, “A bolt out of the clear blue sky,” the cheesy “I love you.”

I also knew how it worked in India. Men and women lived through multiple iterations of the above, but in their heads. The men tried to cast the shadow of their dreams on the women, but most of them in vain. The sex came much later, much after the baby step – the “I love you.”

Two questions crossed my brain.

1.     Why did Indians need to wait to fall in love with the person before having sex with them?

2.     Why did the Westerners need to have sex with the person gazillion times before falling in love with them?

The answer was the same for the both of them – fear. One was the fear of losing respect, and the other, the fear of losing independence.
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I was an Indian in the West. My thoughts were mangled and so were my intentions, but I knew I belonged to none of those categories. Mine was the third category, a hybrid, I neither believed that I couldn't have sex with someone I just got to know, nor believed that I needed to have sex multiple times to fall in love with them. Something that I needed 800 more words to explain.
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There were three cases:

Case 1: MONEY = SEX = LOVE (typical American case), where the man won her heart, mainly, by paying through his nose.

Case 2: MONEY = LOVE = SEX (rare) and LOVE = MONEY = SEX (typical Indian case), where the man got lucky only when he won her heart, but needed money to take the relationship to the next level.

Case 3: SEX = LOVE = MONEY(common), where the woman considered giving her heart away a mistake, and dumped the man for not having enough money (for a future).

Conclusion: Money and sex balanced the equation, because love was too poor to perform alone.

I always respected prostitutes, but today I respected them more. We “apparently normal” women were no different – we were money-loving creatures after all!